i was trying to open a pickle jar and it fell and shattered on the floor and there was pickles and glass and juice everywhere and i slow turned to my cat and whispered “well we sure do find ourselves in a pickle here” then stood there laughing alone in a dark house illuminated by the fridge light while surrounded by my disaster
Customer: I want a nice chocolate cake for my young son, and he likes trucks, so could you maybe do a little frosting picture of a truck on the top?
Cake Boss: SOS WHAT WES GUNNA DO IS MAKE A GIANT TRUCK ENTIRELY OUTTA RICE CRISPIES AND COVA DAT IN FONDANT AND IZ GUNNA SHOOT SPARKS AND CATCH FIYAH, POSSIBLY KILLIN YOUR SON IN DA PROCESS.
A young man who was born dirt poor
with plans of starting out fresh in New York
who falls in love with a woman named after a flower
and pretends to be someone he’s not along the way
and his true love is already taken by a huge douche
but he doesn’t care
then he dies in water
And Leo still doesn’t get a freaking Oscar